Let me be very clear from the beginning. I do not know everything there is to know ever about this subject. This is the Source Truth as I have the capacity to communicate it today and I will be updating this article as my consciousness expands. If any aspect of this article feels limiting (not triggering, limiting) then I communicated it improperly and thus can improve my ability to relay Source Truth information. Source Truth is not an opinion, but a 100% accurate scientific-energetic-spiritual fact.
From the human perspective, romantic relationships can seem messy, confusing, and challenging, as well as beautiful, brilliant, and profound. Most of us on the path of conscious expansion acknowledge the incredible potential of romantic relationships to transform us and facilitate spiritual growth in ways we could never achieve alone. However, when our ego attaches to an idea of what a successful relationship looks like, or when we feel compelled to follow a cultural norm because it’s all we know, even though we experience a lot of highs with our partner, there are underlying degrees of pain, suffering, and confusion on which the relationship is built. When we build our relationship from a place of ego attachment and ignorance, we experience suffering: ie jealousy, cheating, aggressive fighting, break ups or threats of breaking up, emptiness, bitterness, or hatred of the other, to name a few. And although suffering is a magnificent tool for spiritual growth, I believe that if we had a solid understanding of the very point + purpose of romantic relationships from a Source perspective, a lot of people could save a lot of time from suffering. Which is why I’m writing this article 🙂
Let’s just get right into it. The very point and purpose of romantic relationships is to grow; they massively facilitate soul growth and spiritual expansion. Also, for the sake of being real, growth is the point of human existence in general and romantic relationships are simply a huge part of that. Not all romantic partnerships are created equal, however (more on that later). Source wants us to start understanding the soul perspective of relationships, which we now know is TO GROW. They’re not designed to make your parents proud or your friends jealous. They’re not designed to be easy + perfect, or to fill a void. They are designed to be challenging because challenges make us grow.
Let’s get into this further by examining contracts. Oxford Languages defines a contract as a written or spoken agreement that is intended to be enforceable by law. And just like there are laws to follow in your country of origin as a human citizen, there are also Source-developed Universal Laws to follow not only as a soul, but also as an embodied soul on Earth. Humans have contracts in business and law just as souls have contracts: to establish an agreement. We, by the way, are each souls composed of Source light that have chosen to come to Earth to incarnate and have a human experience with physical bodies. This is all explainable by science and can be fact-checked, but if you need more of a hand-holding explanation that is an article for another day. So, just like we humans must follow human laws in our countries of origin, so must souls follow Source Law depending on which realm they enter into. We humans are all in Realm Three and yes, there are specific laws we must understand and follow if we want to create the life of our dreams here. The thing is, so few of us actually know them and have been taught them, but again, the reasoning for this is another article for another day. Continuing. Before souls incarnate on Earth, up there in a place I call spiritland, they (along with Source and Higher Self) meticulously choose every single detail about their forthcoming human experience. This is where contracts come in. Contracts between souls get created before the human experience. Why? Because the human experience is all about growth and learning, and contracts between souls ENSURE that lessons between people get learned on the physical plane. Take that person you hate right now in your life. Be honest, no need to get all *spiritual* about it just yet—you probably find someone if your life annoying, at the very least. So, take this person. You and this person have a contract on a soul level, a contract where both sides agreed to a particular lesson being learned for the both of you before you can disappear from each other’s lives (and if you understand the Universal Law of Reflections this will make much more sense to you). What forms the core of the lesson behind each and every one of these soul contracts? Self-love. Self-love is always the lesson but can be given different names like confidence for example, or authentic expression or joy. Who, you ask, are the souls with whom we have the most gigantic lessons to learn? The souls that are the hardest to get away from: family and romantic partners. Let’s dive into romantic partners starting with an example from my life.
Let’s say you’re me, for a moment. You grew up in the US and for the most part were indirectly taught about marriage and relationships through the culture. You learned that successful relationships last for life and that the common thing to do when you when you fall in love is to get married. Honestly, this is great! I’m not knocking marriage here, but this framework can also be very limiting from a soul perspective. Souls don’t give much of a sh*t about marriage, not really, they care about đź‘ŹÂ lessons đź‘ŹÂ being đź‘ŹÂ learned (and if marriage is the container in which you’ll experience the most growth, then they’re all for it). So, let’s say you fall head over heels in love with somebody, like omg in love, like the sex is fantastic, you connect on so many levels, all the levels it seems. You date for a couple of years and you’re like yeah, this person is the “the one” for life. Up there in spiritland, you may only have contracted with that person to learn about say, confidence. On the human level, the love is real, the draw is real, and every ounce of your being is thinking marriage for life. However, once the lesson about confidence is fully learned on the human level, and this could take any amount of time from months to years to decades to lifetimes—the contract completes, and you no longer feel a need to be with that person anymore. In spiritland things are simple. But the human is going HAYWIRE. Omg no! Divorce?!?!? I’m a failure, we have failed, and you’re trying everything to make the relationship work, and a lot of suffering ensues. If we only knew about contracts! & the fact that not all people you fall deeply, overwhelmingly in love with are going to be “the one” for life. Being with “the one” aka a soul compliment, must be painstakingly earned (more on this and all the nuance here in a second).
Once you learn the lesson with your romantic partner, over the course of however much time it takes, the contract ends, and you no longer feel a magnetic pull to them. This is why the concept of marriage can be limiting from the soul perspective. Sometimes we choose to marry someone our soul never intended to be with for life. What I’m saying here is that some people are getting married for the wrong reasons, at the wrong time. But this is perfect too—it’s all happening as it should, because like I said we grow through trial and error. I’m writing this to prompt you to think about what it would mean if the person you’re with actually wasn’t “the one” or if you’re married, what would it mean if you got divorced? What thoughts would come up? What would you have to confront, for example, if marriage in this lifetime wasn’t for you at all? Or, if you’re non-monogamous, what would it mean if you did have a one soul compliment contract to explore in this lifetime? Oftentimes it’s what we resist most that is meant to find us. Why? So a gigantic ego death + lesson integration can occur. Like I said, the soul only cares about growth and growth is painful, baby.
Now, let’s get into the term soul compliment. But first, haha, in case you weren’t aware, there are multiple different levels of connection available between two people. For starters, there are four main avenues of connection: physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. If you genuinely connect + match (and are not just being manipulated by your emotions into thinking/feeling you connect on all levels just because you want to đź‘€) with your person on all four of these levels then you have found a soulmate. Each person has anywhere between 2 to 6 soulmates out there alive on this planet currently. Soulmates are highly reflective and cause us to do a lot of growing (and are just perfect as life companions for a lot of us in this lifetime), but the truth is most people alive currently are dating/married to 2/4s and 3/4s. Again, there is nothing, absolutely nothing wrong with this. But your human is thinking I must make this relationship work even though there may be something missing, and you experience a lot of suffering instead of just asking your Higher Self for guidance (we are always being guided, more on that in another article). Instead of looking into the contract and pulling the lesson you’re supposed to learn with this person, (as well as intuitively looking into where you match, etc) we turn a blind eye and throw all of our culturally programmed expectations onto our person, unconsciously limiting both ourselves and our partner, and guaranteeing a relationship full of tension, jealously, confusion, wondering, fighting, and anxiety (mixed in of course, with all the good times because relationships really do be that tricky!).
So, what is a soul compliment? Your soul compliment is you. Meaning, wherever you operate in the feminine energy, they operate in that same place with their masculine energy, and vice versa. They complement us completely, entirely. They have the exact same inherent high-level skillsets, meaning they have the potential to master and excel at what we have the potential to master and excel at. The things you love, they love, and vice versa. This person is the most highly reflective person on the planet for you specifically, which is why finding your soul compliment is an honor that must be EARNED. Yes, earned. 92% of people alive on the planet currently are not able to handle a relationship with their soul compliment, nor do they necessarily have a contract to be with them in this lifetime either. What do I mean by handle? I mean they do not have the tools to hold and sustain this type of relationship, because this relationship was designed to test them in every single possible way. Most people, when they come across challenges in their relationships fold and break up or at the very least blame the other person and instigate fights (been there!). In a soul compliment relationship, you must be a master at handling reflections and emotions. You must be out of the consciousness of blame. You must be intuitive and have a deep + profound relationship to Source and the Divine. You must have enough layers of your ego scraped away and have developed such a high level of trust in the All That Is to even be able to make it into a relationship with your compliment. Most people are getting married to not their soul compliment, and while that commitment is beautiful and perfect for them in this lifetime, they are basically guaranteeing that they never meet their compliment, obviously because they are white-knuckle gripping and ego attaching to their marriage later on down the line. Beautiful lessons to be learned either way, but the point I’m trying to make is this: there is not a one-size-fits-all relationship structure, so go and make your life intuitively YOURS.
Let’s make some more things clear. For a lot of people, a life-long commitment to a 3/4 or a soulmate is PERFECT. It’s exactly what they need in this lifetime to give them the tools to one day/lifetime meet their compliment and experience an astounding union (ALSO you can make any union astounding with devotion + commitment, but also this subtle nuance is another article for another day). I’m writing this article for the high-frequency lightbeings who desire more knowledge about the nature of romantic relationships here on Earth. I, me, Maddy am currently in a partnership (and have a child with) my soul compliment, but the message I’m putting across here isn’t: dOn’t datE anyone uNless it’S your SoUl compliMent. In fact, we NEED all sorts of relationships because they give us the lessons we need in order to even be a frequency match to attract our soul compliment one day/lifetime. My message is this: look into the contract you have with the person you’re currently with. Learn intuition and check in, and then make a decision based on the knowledge you have gained. Is marriage really the key? Perhaps not. Maybe they are a soulmate or compliment and marriage is exactly what feels right (and what will facilitate the most growth for you both and allow you to create a family) in this lifetime. Maybe in your heart you KNOW that your soul compliment awaits you at the end, but the relationship you’re currently in feels SO right. Amazing!!! We just don’t want to do something because it’s the cultural norm or because we’re unwilling to consider alternatives. About 97% of our thoughts on a daily basis are not even our own. We are constantly absorbing the thoughts and emotions from the collective, and if we’re not careful (ie: energetically clearing, healing, and protecting ourselves) we could be, and probably are, living a life that is not really serving our Highest Expression. Instead, we’re making choices based off cultural programming and this keeps us feeling depressed, confused, blame-y, and limited.
In summary, the more we heal, the more tools we acquire. The more tools we acquire, the more reflective of a relationship we can sustain, and the more reflective a relationship we can sustain, the faster we grow in consciousness + embody Love. Let there be no pressure and no rush for you after reading this article, you are exactly where (and with the person) you’re meant to be (with). I wrote it simply to give you the knowledge that would have helped me in the past. Some beneficial points of inquiry would be asking yourself what YOU want in life. What do you want to experience romantically and what do you want from your partner? Get clear. Learn intuitive skillsets, emotions mastery. Release everyone in your life, not just your partner, from your expectations and perfectionism. You will feel so much lighter and freer in your relationship once you realize that the purpose of romantic relationships is to get us to fall in love with OURSELVES the most. Life is never truly about another single person. It’s about your relationship with yourself, and the amount of love you can generate for yourself and your nature as consciousness. Knowing, and then embodying the knowledge, that you are completely and utterly perfect + brilliant is THE essential state of being from which every incredible thing in your life stems.
Madeline is an intuitive energetic-somatic healer who centers her work in Source scientifically accurate intuition, emotional healing, energetic healing, emotions mastery, and feminine embodiment. Want an intuitive read about your life/soul or the nature of your relationship? Book a free discovery call today 🙂